Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Consumed

Nick, I let your post linger at the top for a few days, and I feel like I want to exorcise it. Burn some incense inside those paragraphs, watch the demons that are idling in CA trickle out. What else is there to do when support is so far away? There is always the mail, as I learned in the past year. It is no replacement for the quiet moments two people share, but it can substitute for some time. So in short, you'll get some mail soon. You're so...resilient.

As an experiment some time, everyone should click the "Next Blog" button at the top. The plethora of vegan/vegetarian/baking blogs is pretty humbling. And yet the veg ones are nice to read. I feel like I'm back in the community cabin. Everyone here is accepting/accomodating of my eating habits, but it's not the same without tasting kale and quinoa that other people cook and offer to you.

Brian's brother and his fiancee asked me to make them a cupcake spread for their wedding. This happened yesterday. The wedding is on May Day. Lots of work, but lots of love, and I was very excited and honored. Lately I've been stuck on cupcakes.They seem so approachable compared to my fondant/krispie/sponge cake animals.

I like eating food that other people make me. But I love making it and sharing it more. I love reading books that other people write. But when I try to write one it just doesn't happen (see National Novel Writing Month 09). Does anyone feel the same way? I know my career path provides for the flexibility of writing (see Beverly Cleary, children's librarian and novel-writer extraordinaire), but maybe I need something extra to really enter author territory. I fill notebooks, but only with snippets and blurbs. Where is the grand design for it all? Maybe I'm lazy.

I think this blog should be required as part of the Life After Americorps packet. Venn Diagrams. Five Year Plans. Real, true, freaking out post-service. I think that non-Americorps people say a lot of things during service about sacrifice and how wonderful it is to "give" a year to something bigger than yourself. But you (I) don't realize how much you actually gave until after the fact, when you can do the comparison of where you were vs. where you are and how you got there. When you're in it, you're in it, but afterwards the reflection is much deeper.

I had dinner the other night where a current Americorps member talked about living in the woods and how the water at their campsite was completely turned off for a few days before Christmas break. I didn't know other people lived in the woods. On the other hand these people have a vegetarian meal cooked for them 4 days a week, and not lodge-style vegetarian. A ping of jealousy flared there. But now I have multiple veggie cookbooks from Christmas and a full kitchen. So I can't complain. Even simple things like sliced tofu slightly fried in a cast iron skillet and smothered in ketchup and garlic are still appreciated.

Gratuitous pictures:

I


Christmas cupcakes. Chocolate cake, white frosting is egg nog flavored buttercream with cinnamon dusting, Chocolate frosting is Bailey's Irish Cream frosting. Except for the one in the corner which is straight up chocolate (not everyone in the family is 21, and the alcohol in both of these buttercreams was dizzying.)

Contrary to popular belief my life is not all about food...I just like talking about it a lot.

I could use some kettle chips.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

California is Kicking My Ass

Yeah! I'm glad people are finally updating again. I come here all the time to read about your lovely lives and am too often disappointed by the lack of info.

This is a picture of me in the last play I did ("The House of Blue Leaves"). This was taken during a dress rehearsal - so it's before I got my hair cut army style. But you can still get an idea.

I really do like this area. The abundance of theatre is incredible. I love the shows I've been doing. The city is really cool and holds a trove of wonderful little places. The people are really cool. My job is a lot of fun.

But things have not been easy for me out here. California being one of the worst states in the recession, it took me far too long to find work. The time I spent unemployed basically depleted my savings. Now that I do have a job I get paid far too little. My position is as a substitute aide. All that means is that I fill in for any staff member who is sick or in any classroom that just needs extra help. Basically I do the same job as everyone else and get paid half as much. When they hired me they said that substitutes usually get a permanent placement after about 2 months of being there. It's been 2 months, and I'm the next sub in line to move up - so hopefully that will happen soon.

Since money has been so tight (the cost of living out here is insane!) I have had to turn to some creative ways of making money. I sold my ipod on craigslist for some extra grocery money when I really needed it once. I sold a bunch of books and all 4 seasons of "Weeds" at Half Priced Books (I'm still holding on dearly to "Six Feet Under" though).

Before I had a job, I sold my camera on ebay. That one was hard to part with - it was my most prized possession - but in the end it was only a possession and I really needed the money. I sold the whole package - camera body, two lenses, memory card, tripod, camera bag, etc - all for about $600. A good deal for the buyer, but still hugely beneficial to me. I had never used ebay before. I had to set up a paypal account and learn how to do everything. Once I made the sale I received an email from paypal telling me that the buyer had paid the money, but that they wouldn't put it into my account until they got confirmation of shipping from me. So I mailed the package and gave paypal the tracking #. A few days went by and I still didn't get the money - which I desperately needed at that time - I did get a few emails from paypal explaining the delay though. And then I got an email from paypal stating that, since I was a first time user, I wasn't allowed to accept a payment under $1,000. They said that the buyer was willing to make the $1,000 payment, but that I would need to wire them $400 to make up the difference. That's when I realized that this was completely not right. I sent the emails to paypal who confirmed that they were indeed a scam. Apparently someone can send an email that says it's from paypal in the address bar and looks legit and everything and is completely fake. Needless to say I never saw my camera again or any of the money. Great.

Because money has been so tight I could no longer afford the apartment I was living in. So at the beginning of December I had to make a move. My last apartment was two miles from work, and I had to move 27 miles away. That's about a 45 minute to a one hour commute in the mornings due to horrendous traffic. That is by no means the worst thing about my new living situation though. I am renting a room from a middle aged woman who lives on the living room couch smoking cigarettes and watching tv all day. She has about 10?, 15?, 20? feral cats living in the house. The whole place reeks of cigarette smoke and cat piss. I can constantly smell it on my clothes and on my skin. I only hope that other people don't notice. It's also incredibly dirty. Almost every time I've wanted to take a shower I've had to clean cat shit out of the bathtub first. The woman's stroke victim mother also stays in the living room when she is not at the hospital. She is hooked to machines that beep when she needs something. I am often woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of the woman screaming obscenities at her mother because the beeping is keeping her awake.

On Christmas Eve I had a blast. One of my co-workers (California's very own Ms. Toccara) invited me out to karaoke for her birthday. I figured that she just invited everyone at work (or most people anyway), but it turns out that it was just three of us from work (including her). That made me feel pretty special, and we had a lot of fun.

Christmas day was not nearly as fun. I spent it with my friend that drives me crazy. He hasn't been as bad lately, but still. He invited people over to his house that he knew were going to be alone for Christmas. I didn't know the other two guys that came (and he only sort of knew them), but we all pitched in and had a nice dinner. All of the other guys really like to play board games and strategy games and card games. If it's not charades or pictionary or something like that then I'm not really that into games. But I acquiesced and played a couple of long and terribly boring games with them. Then we decided to go see a movie. Now, I have been waiting to see "Nine" for about a year now. Maybe longer I don't know. Ever since I knew it was going to be a movie I have been dying to see it. I love "8 1/2" and I love the stage version of "Nine" - so even though the movie isn't getting great reviews, I'm pretty sure that I will still love it. I was, however, outvoted and forced to see "Sherlock Holmes". That movie sucked.

For the last week or so my car engine has been doing some funny things. So I have been trying not to drive it too much until I could get it looked at this next week. Because of that I didn't drive to my friends house. I just drove to the closest BART station (local rail system) and took that to his house. We got out of the movie too late for BART to still be running so my friend drove me to my car. When we got there I found out that my driver's side window had been busted out and my car broken into. Merry Christmas! They stole a tin full of change and my sleeping bag from the trunk, but there wasn't anything too expensive in there for them to steal.

Now I still have to get my engine fixed AND I have to replace the window (which is not covered by my insurance). So once again its the end of the month and I'm wondering how I'm going to make rent (even in this shit-hole room). It doesn't help that this is all happening during the 2 week school winter break where I DON'T GET PAID AT ALL. I'm sure everything will work out though. It always seems to.

Emily, don't let this scare you from coming out here. It's still lots of fun, and you should definitely come - even though none of the bars seem to have Blue Moon, even when they have a picture of it on their wall.

My name is Nick. I'm feeling stressed, but still happy. And my goal is get my car fixed and find a nicer place to live and someday own a grumpy bulldog. Go one.



The weather here has been...decidedly un-Georgia like. It snowed in early December, then again on my birthday, and only the rain last night finally started to erase the accumulation on the ground. I always wanted snow on my birthday as a kid, and I only really got that once. For the past two years snow on my birthday has been a pain. That's how it goes, right?

My job is exhausting. And low-paying. I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of reviewing mental ledgers, and I would be even crazier about it if I weren't so tired all the time. There was something to be said for the ratio of kids to staff at IH. When there are 16 kindergarteners and two adults, you start to feel like oak tree being used as base for a 16 person indoor game of tag. Run, run away from someone who's chasing you, tell the oak tree he pushed you, run again, trip, fall, demand a spiderman ice pack from the oak tree. I like the kids. I like the potential I have in working with them, the way that they respond to books (sometimes) and crafts (sometimes) but the constant noise can wear on a person. Then again it's sweet to just sit down and draw dinosaurs, unicorns, fairies, princesses and horses for hours.

School starts in mid-January (after the day on not day off) and that's nerve-wracking too. It's crazy to me how little I thought about the scholastic side before I started college. It wasn't good, but it was certainly helpful in terms of assuaging self-doubt. I forget how to go to school, I think. My sister bought me an 8 pocket folder. My path is clear. I just wish I could merge more excitement in. I went to my orientation and marveled over how easily people walked up to each other and introduced themselves, talked about where they were from and why they were here. I keep to myself in those situations. It's always been like that. Without a check in, I can't bring myself to even say my name out loud. Thank you, name tag. Hopefully once classes begin I'll emerge from the cocoon I am holding tightly closed. If only I could commute like a butterfly. Parking is expensive.

I didn't realize how tightly wound I was until I wrote all of this down. That used to happen at IH too. I need to just cook some good veggie food and use my kick-ass new cake decorating airbrush (!) (thanks bf) to restore some self-esteem. Maybe buy some new notebooks.

I miss everyone...and Taco Mac. But my removal from Harbour food and limitless tortilla chips has done my body good. I am thinking about deep-frying some okra for my sister's dinner party tomorrow. I don't think it will be the same without everyone. Emily, if you move to the bay area I will just about cry thinking about you and Nick hanging out all the time. But I hope you do for that same reason. Frieeeeendship.

I want updates from everyone. I updated because Emily did. And it was depressing to see only one December post.

My name is Erinn, I'm feeling contemplative, aaaand my goal today is to make a really great tofu sandwich for lunch. Go one.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Back in ohio, though in all honesty it feels like I am going through the old moving somewhere new and trying to meet people stage, in my own hometown. Its alright, though im not sure how long it will last. I got a job tutoring Toledo Public School kids. mostly kindergartners but also 10th grade geometry, thats a little scary. Its nice to see that all of us posting on this site have found jobs in the realm of education.. that tugs at my heart.

Currently im staying in this big old old house alone (mansion denoting) with 11 animals while the family is away. Its very nice to have the place to myself though I am not as productive as I should be. Its time to start applying to jobs for the spring or summer.. as much as my heart is in Ohio the mountains are calling me... anyways its kinda scary though because im not in the best part of town and just a little over a month ago there was an intruder in the house (member stacy? she practically walked right into him and he fell down the stairs). The most frightening thing is he didn't steal anything and it looked as if he wasn't going to, he was just hiding out in the little girls bedroom at 10pm. Lucky the girl was sleeping with her mom that night! ahh. jeez now im giving myself the creeps.

while working on a farm in northen cal I fell for a 32 year old drunken skateboarding midget (hes my height) - though we havn't kept in touch and hes drunk all the time so it will never work out just thought it was news worthy

I traveled for 2 solid months with not once staying in a hotel. Id like to post some pics up from my trip but I'm too lazy and broke to get them developed.. but when I do...

Anyways life is great though lonely at times. I havn't started work yet and I havn't found the right project yet to fulfill me. I got back Saturday and im already bored... im such a little kid.

I think I am going to move to the bay area if I can get around to raising enough money and getting a job.

if I havnt shown you toledo is awesome...
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=115443531746326888777.000466c032373f2fb1de1

also
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs2j8f7H2WY

other news. im really into making my bed these days. thats new too. I have my own room for the first time since before GA. its fucking amazing